| |
For everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun… In nature there are times when things move slowly and we notice no change, and then suddenly it seems change occurs very suddenly. Transitions are as natural as the changing of the seasons. So it is throughout our lives.
Life transitions are described as a short-term change in our lives associated with a sharp discontinuity with the past. Therefore, transitions have identifiable beginnings, and often-distinct endings. Some are welcomed some are not. Some transitions come and then pass us by barely being noticed. Some are a mere inconvenience, while others can be life changing.
Some examples of transition are employment changes, disabling accidents, birth, death, marriage, divorce, children leaving the home, and moving. Transitions can be positive or negative, voluntary or involuntary, on time such as retirement or off time such as the sudden death of a loved one. With every change we must let go of what is familiar to us, and face the world again with a sense of fragility and uncertainty. In all cases, whether we are prepared to do so or not, we must find a new way of living; a new way of finding meaning and purpose in our lives. Disruptions such as these force us to test our abilities to adapt and cope. They challenge us to grow. Research shows there are several theories of different stages of transition. William Bridges, in Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, lists three stages of transition, and explains them like this.
Fall transition is the first stage. Green turns to brown, leaves fall, and we know another year is coming to an end. This is a time to break old patterns. We must say good-bye to those people, places and routines that have become so familiar and comfortable to us.
| |
. When you are faced with a particularly difficult transition, try taking part in a ritual that aids you in saying good-bye to the old, and helps you to embrace the new. For instance, throw yourself a going away party when faced with a move.
. Find ways to say farewell to those people, places and situations that have been important to you. Then hard as it may seem, say good-bye and begin to let go.
. Acknowledge your feelings of loss, as they are quite normal. Do not work to avoid those feelings. Frequently rebirth can only occur through death.
|
Winter transition is the second stage. The soil lies dormant and inactive. This is a time for quiet and rest. All around us there is a sense of disconnect, for we are not connected yet to the new, nor have we fully let go of the old. We may feel confused, empty and numb.
| |
. Begin a journey of self-awareness. Use this time to learn all about yourself and find out more about who you are. Read books that encourage, motivate and inspire you. Participate in group or individual therapy.
. Take good care of yourself. Get plenty of rest and exercise. Eat a healthy diet. Listen to what your body is telling you it needs, and respond to those needs.
. Spend time in thought. Use it constructively and find peace in it. Allow yourself to experience the emotions you are feeling, do not run from them. Pain and reflection can bring about growth. Begin keeping a journal so someday you can look back on your journey and see how far you have come.
. Lastly, take full advantage of this winter period. We may have to spend a lot of time searching, but something good comes from everything that happens. Have the courage to find it. Martin Luther King said it best, “If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose the courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream.” Hang on to your dreams! |
Spring transition is the last stage. This is a time of rebirth and renewal. Color is everywhere. Grass and leaves are green again. Buds bloom into flowers. All around us we feel life. It is a time of new beginnings and a time to let go of the old. Just as the season, you too will find a new beginning.
| |
. Spend time alone. What is it you want right now? Who would you like to be, and what would you like to become? Make a mental picture of what you would like your future to be.
. Focus on today. Recognize that what you have accomplished in your past can no longer set the standard for satisfaction in the present. If old identities, roles and routines no longer meet your needs, let them go.
. Set realistic short and long- term goals for yourself. Starting today take grasp of your dreams of who you want to be and what you want to become.
. Reward yourself for the progress you have made. Treat yourself. Find support in spending time with those who are positive and encouraging in helping you to begin again. |
Learn to become aware of and experience the changing seasons of your own life. The more we allow ourselves to experience and find positives in what life brings to us, the more we will be able to grow and give back to others.
Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all. ~ Stanley Horowitz
Pam Gross, LCSW, is a social worker for Family Service of the Chautauqua Region serving in the schools. For more information about Family Service and its program call 488-1971. |
|
This site is copyright © 2008 [