One evening when I tucked my eight-year-old daughter into bed, she whispered, “Mommy, I didn’t get to play with you today. Can we spend time together tomorrow?” I realized then that I needed to make a conscious effort to prioritize my time a little better. Being a wife, a mother of three young children, and a full-time professional certainly lends to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Like many parents, trying to juggle your schedule to meet all yours and others’ needs and expectations can be challenging.

According to child psychiatrist Stanley I. Greenspan, M.D., “Many parents are so overscheduled that they lose track of where their child fits into their lives.” Christmas has just passed, and I’m sure many adults and children are still exploring the gifts they received. If you’re like me, you stewed and stewed over what to buy for your kids trying to make sure that you spend an equal amount on each child. Ultimately, the best gift you can give yourself and your child is time spent together. Even though this gift can be difficult to maintain, especially with a busy schedule, it is better than any material gift you or your child may receive.

According to research, it is vital to see your children at different stages of their lives in order to see how they are developing and learn their approach to life. More time spent between children and parent is not only beneficial to the child but to the parent as well. The gift of spending time with your children can make a parent a stronger role model, a better parent, and a happier person. When children are able to spend more time with their parents they are more productive and happier.

Time together also fosters a sense of security and confidence in a child. Through parent-child interaction, children begin to learn lessons that cannot be taught in school. When a parent devotes one-on-one time with a child it helps him develop an ability to put his feelings into words and begin to learn about empathy for other people. The more time spent with your child, the more they are able to tune into their skills and abilities and establish healthy friendships. As children reach their teenage years, it is important that they spend more quality as well as quantity time with their parents. Many parents can get caught up in making sure their teen is on the right path that they forget to connect by spending quality time with them.

Psychologists suggest many ways parents can spend quality time with their children. For young children, Dr. Greenspan has developed a concept he calls “floor time.” Floor time involves setting aside at least 30 minutes a day simply to get down on the floor and play. You do whatever your child wants to do. Let him select the game, direct the action, and control the conversation. Your role is to let the child take the lead and actively participate without taking charge. Floor time shows the child you can get down on his level and stay interested in him. Floor time encourages the child to grow emotionally and practice social skills. It also fosters a good relationship between the child and parent. At bedtime, take the time to wind down with your child by reading or chatting, which can have a positive affect on his behavior.

Parents can use extra time from their schedules to contribute to their child’s school learning. They can utilize the Internet to find at-home lessons in science, math, art, etc. Parents can also create flash cards to teach their children about arithmetic or to study vocabulary words.
           
Spending time with your children doesn’t always have to focus on schooling. Leisure time offers children an opportunity to use their imagination and creativity. Participating in sports is a great way for parents to spend time with their children. Sometimes parents make the mistake of spending money for attention. They may feel that buying a child a toy or something they’ve been wanting is a way of giving him the attention he desires. A parent cannot substitute their attention, affection, or love with gifts. Negative consequences can occur when a child is deprived of the parent’s sole attention. A child may try to get the parent’s attention in a negative way in acting out behaviors - tantrums, hitting, biting, etc.
           
Find a chance each week to do something special with your child. When planning activities to do with your child, set aside a specific time and day. In addition, consider his age and plan accordingly. Plan an activity where you are doing something together like rock climbing or playing miniature golf. Other ideas include bike riding, going for a drive, going to a specialty store, going out to dinner, etc.
           
Spending quality time with your child does not always have to involve going somewhere or doing an activity. Simply taking time in your day to talk to your child is one of the best ways to help him grow up secure and confident. When talking to your child, ask open-ended questions that require more than a “yes or no” response. With older children and teens, talk about issues that are going on at home, school, or in the community. With teenagers, it is important to pay close attention to what they are saying and let them know you truly care. When parents listen first, the child will in turn be more likely to listen.
           
Be positive with your child. Praise your child for routine things like getting up on time for school or doing their homework without being told. Reflect your child’s thoughts and feelings so they know you understand them, and help them work through difficult situations. Life can be hectic and complicated but when it comes to spending time with your kids, the rewards are immeasurable – for you and them.